After our daughter Grace was stillborn, at 25 weeks of pregnancy, a midwife came to visit to check how we were doing. I told her of our plans, for me to take the “maternity leave” that I was still entitled to, to spend time with our son, then 19 months. Her reply took me aback – “I know it might not feel that way, but consider that time Grace’s gift to you,” she said. Truthfully, I wanted to poke her in the eye at the time, finding it impossible to see any good in the loss we had just experienced. Over the years, though, as the jagged edges of grief have softened and healed, I understand more, now, what she meant. Losing Grace was one of the hardest things I have been through – but, ten years on, I can see that she has left many gifts for us in her wake. I had a year, enjoying time with Ben, before Samuel came along. I have a wonderful, second son, our rainbow baby who followed Grace here. Her loss has enabled me to connect so much...