My daughter was stillborn at 25 weeks of pregnancy, over the Christmas period, eight years ago. I find it so hard to commemorate her adequately, each year, amidst the bustle and chaos of the festive season. When I began to see a counsellor, two years ago, he suggested commemorating her at other times in the year, to help relieve the pressure to remember her well at Christmas - not a season commensurate with stillness and reflection. Her 'due date', the 8th of April, seemed like a good time to do this. We all know that very few babies put in an appearance on their due date (one of mine hung on in for a full fourteen days extra, one was coaxed out at three days overdue), so this date can feel arbitrary, but gives me something to focus on, somewhere to hang my thoughts and my grief. So today was the third time I purchased a balloon, the second attempt at releasing it (more on that in a minute). In three years of trying this out, I've noticed some frustrating p